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About This Club

A place to discuss about the mainly absurd Divorce Laws in the United States and looking for ways to collaborate and push for urgent reforms to make it somewhat sane, simple, and more equitable.
  1. What's new in this club
  2. I believe if it is legal by the state, the child is treated no differently than had the parents had their own child physically. Both parents are allowed to fight for custody, if one should choose not to have anything to do with the child, they will still have to pay child support in most states. As for the scams you mentioned, I believe a couple needs to be married for a number of years before they can adopt which prevents this.
  3. This is something I always wondered because most states require you to be in a marriage before you can adopt a child. I think this is just as much about stability in relationships as it is in finances but that is a different topic. I am wondering what happens to a child who is adopted by a couple if they divorce... Like I would imagine there are people who marry just so one of the people can adopt and they later divorce as a means to "scam" the system.
  4. Do you mean laws dealing with rights to property, wills, and life insurance issues? I would imagine some of it has been changes for most states but not all of it has been adjusted and there are likely loopholes states use against same-sex couples even now. I think this is an issue the LGBT group should look into and bring awareness to because our government is very stubborn when it comes to changing anything.
  5. I think statistically, the odds are more in favor of this because it is very hard to have a stable income and live a life without struggles as a single parent. There is also the added fuel of the divorce which is never healthy for kids to be around. It is very sad to see it and hear about it. I know not all children end up becoming criminals or getting into trouble in their teens or young adult years but enough of them do that it is a legit statistic that is worrisome.
  6. I have never had a divorce but I know more people than I should who have gone through it and in most cases, it comes down to just marrying the wrong people. If you marry the right person, even when things get tough you can work it out. I feel like you really need to consider marrying a friend vs a "lover". The sex and lust wears out after a while and if you have nothing left, when/if kids come into the picture, it just gets all the more messy.
  7. I always hear about these statistics and I have to wonder if they are true. I would imagine it would depend on the age as well as the income level both parents are under. I know for my cousins who's parents split up when they were just toddlers, they ended up doing okay. Neither of them ended up on drugs or anything like that. Though their father is a millionaire so I think this factored in. He essentially helped their mom out by letting her have the house and buying her things she needed.
  8. Like what kind of new laws? The sad truth, is that some states still have same-sex marriage banned in their laws, but since the US legalized it, those bans no longer stand. I believe some states still list these bans. Soon enough, I imagine most states would remove the language outright.
  9. I don't know much about marriage laws but I do know there is some mess to the process and divorce can be a complicated matter. I am wondering if things have been updates at all since same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide in the US. I am having trouble finding information on it.
  10. Making it hard likely encourages people to work out their problems first. I agree with that divorce should be the last option. There are counselors that help couples as well as other options be it through the church or what have you. I think everything should be tried and "trial separation" should be used only sparingly.
  11. I only have one parent. I never knew my father, he left when I was very young. My mother was not married to him but she did marry someone when I was 6 and has been with him since. He is who I consider to be my father and they never had issues with divorce or anything. I guess I am lucky there. I don't know what happened to my biological dad and I really don't care to know at this point.
  12. Kids don't often make good decisions for themselves but for the sake of there being cases of child abuse out there, I believe they should have some say depending on the situation. If there are allegations of abuse, then the child should be questioned separately from the parents to see if there is a legit reason to question the care of one or both parents involved.
  13. I believe this should be dependent on the age of the child. A child who is too young will see favors from one parent and think they will be better off (more spoiled) with one over the other which can cause the child to end up getting neglected. Custody should be shared if possible.
  14. You can file for a divorce without a lawyer but you really need to consider what is involved. I would not go through the process if you have children under the age of 16 without a lawyer because things can get messy for the kids.
  15. I believe this is the case, yes. The court favors the mother in most cases, even in cases where there is parental neglect. I never liked this though because I think plenty of fathers would do a much better job as single parenting than some mothers can. I think this kind of thinking is almost sexist in a way and very outdated.
  16. When it comes to custody cases, I feel like the mother tends to win most of the time, even when a child wants to stay with their father or other parent. I think that's kind of changing though, as I will admit, father's get a bad rap when it comes to custody battles. They always get painted out as the bad person, but it's not always the case. Mothers can be awful too.
  17. Well, there is such a thing as divorcing your parents. And I believe when you're 16 years old, you are able to divorce your parents if they are abusive, are not taking care of you properly and so on. I believe in order to do it, you may need a job or some way to support yourself after separating from your parents. There is of course also foster care and I'm sure another family member could take the child in as well.
  18. To some extent yes. If you get a divorce, you do need to hire a lawyer. It's usually part of the process. It sucks, but often times if it involved children, and that's even tougher to handle. A couple who don't have kids, will go much smoother, but it could result in both sides getting half of everything.
  19. Are you a child of divorce? I ask because my parents divorced when I was around 10 or so. It was rough at first, but I gradually got used to it. It also helped that my parents didn't hate each other, they just fell out of love. They always took great care of us kids. My parents never tried to hurt each other either, or try to keep us kids away from either. But, I know things differ for many families out there. If you are a child of divorce, how did it go for you?
  20. If you happened to get divorced anytime in your life, what was the reason why? I have not been divorced, but my parents did and they had a mostly amicable divorce, nothing too bad or hard between the two. But, I have other family and friends who've gone through horrible divorces, some that resulted in one side getting full custody and so on. I know it's hard to discuss, but what caused your divorce? I understand if you don't want to speak about it though.
  21. I think in most cases, yes. The reason why lawyers get involved is to ensure everything is on the table and things are separated fairly. I think this also prevents going to court later on and the process taking a lot longer. Lawyers speed everything up.
  22. I think the main purpose is that they want to make it hard so that people don't get divorces as often. Divorce should usually be the last resort. But, I can see that being together with someone is ideal, in that it benefits both parties, but these days marriage is less popular than it once was, and I think that's another reason so many are willing to divorce more often.
  23. I am not very familiar with divorce law in the US. I have read and heard of some stories, I just couldn't believe what I found out about everything. Most people say you need to hire a lawyer these days even if the divorce is peaceful and no kids are involved. Is this true?
  24. I was lucky enough to not have to go through this but growing up, I had friends who had and it is hard to watch them struggle with things. My one friend who's parents divorced when we were about 13 years old, he blamed himself for a good 5 years. It wasn't until he moved out and got away from that environment did he realize it wasn't him.
  25. Some 16-year-olds are working, driving, and fully able to care for themselves. Do you think if a 16-year-old chooses not to live with either parent, the court should grant them to be free from both in terms of care, custody, and responsibility?
  26. I am curious about this because back in the day, I assumed this was to encourage people to stay together and work things out which I can respect. A lot of people treat marriage like it isn't a big deal these days but now... People are getting divorced more than ever so clearly this isn't working. Maybe they need to focus on giving people incentives to stay together and stop charging so much if they decide to give up.

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